We need to be highly persuasive to get what we want and need out of life. Especially in our very competitive environment. My prior post discusses what may be making you less persuasive.
Are you looking for a new job and need to interview? Are you wanting to convince someone to go out with you? I am going to show you how to get what you want by being more persuasive. Make sure you are not using these tricks for evil! Heed the following advice to get to the handshake faster.
Tone of Voice.
We need to have an open and relaxed vocal mechanism. Not only does it make your voice authoritative, credible & warm but it also keeps you “on-the-ball”. You don’t get nervous, you don’t forget what you were going to say. You’ll be highly effective and able to tap into the knowledge that’s in your brain. I have some awesome relaxation exercises for you. 1 sesh with me is usually all it takes.
Use a varied intonation pattern. You’ll see this all over my twitter & my blog. Pick the words that contain the most information & make them longer & louder. Pick the words that provide very little information and make them shorter & quieter.
Here’s a video about intonation & its impact on persuasive speaking.
Let’s try this sentence here:
There is a meeting at 4 on Tuesday.
First: Always use contractions when speaking. There’s a general misconception out there that shoulda coulda woulda’s are bad. Au contraire mon ami! They are highly effective when used correctly. In this case, we say: There’s a meeting…
Then pick the words that give the most info. Meeting 4 Tuesday. You could just say that & be a more effective & persuasive speaker. But to make it smoother proceed to the next step.
Lastly, make the 3 high information words longer and the other “grammar glue” much shorter & quieter. There’sameeeeetingatfoooouuuuronTuuueeeesday.
Now try this with: I’m the right person for the job because I rock the planet (use your own reasons, of course!)
It’ll look like this: umth’rightpersnferth’jab/ cuzarackth’planet.
Try this with all of your core messages. Make sure to record yourself. This is how you get what you want.
No Ands, Ifs or Buts.
This goes along with the above tip to reduce grammar glue. I want you to literally replace conjunctions with periods. (Conjunctions are words that conjoin sentences like “and”, “if”, “but”, etc. I know you knew that already)
When I was in 2nd grade Sister Thomasine encouraged us to write longer sentences (In first grade it was all: Spot is on the floor. Jack is sitting.) So we all got used to gluing short sentences together to create complex sentences. “Spot is on the table and Jack is sitting.” Down with complex sentences! They’re confusing! They’re boring! They go on and on! No directness here. Using concise direct language will lead you to getting what you want.
To be highly persuasive you need to have an open body. Don’t cross midline (an imaginary line down the center of your body.) That means don’t cross your arms or legs or ankles. I want you to open your arms. And when you’re standing keep your legs shoulder-width apart. This makes you more relaxed (if you’re a midline crosser it will take a bit of getting used to but stick with it!) It’ll make other people more relaxed & open in your company. You can’t persuade ‘em if you’re making them nervous.
Keep your butt at the back of the chair. For real. The edge of the seat is reserved for your listener.
Don’t use 10 words when you can use 5 to get your point across. Try not to over-explain. Give the crux of the message and let others tell you what’s missing by allowing them to ask questions. This takes courage, people! Call me if you need help.
Persuasive Speaking Uses Strong, Active Wording.
Remove undermining words like: “like”, “um”, “I’m just…” “actually” (when people say, “actually” I’m prepared for a fib. A bit of a yarn is upcoming.)
Don’t end a story, presentation or idea with, “that’s all I have to say,” or “I don’t know how to explain it…” or something to that effect. You’ve just completely undermined what you said previously.
Never start interactions verbally or in writing with “I just wanted to…” Wasted time right there. And it’s undermining to you. Definitely not going to get what you want that way.
Your face should be a blank canvas. Get rid of stress lines in your brow, and those deep nasolabial folds with relaxation exercises and massage. Make sure your forehead is flat and without lines. Once again I implore you: Take a session with me or one of my coaches and we will teach you to get rid of them.
Smile with your face & your eyes when you’re using humor (which I recommend highly!) and when you’re greeting people or meeting them for the first time.
Your face underscores your message like italics & bold does for your written message.
Follow these steps, practice them using your recording app on your phone. Let me know if you get what you want!