We all know that person to whom everyone gravitates. The guy who makes everyone laugh, who leads the conversations and tells suspenseful stories.
He’s like a people magnet. Everyone wants to be around him and be like him. He’s sought-after for jobs and projects. Did you think every charming & charismatic person was born that way?
(Or her. I’m not sexist. I had to pick a pronoun. I went with “he” because my dad is my model for getting people to like you. He was such a great communicator/leader. He made people feel great during every interaction. Or he made them laugh! He was so very well-liked.)
Whether we’re meeting new people or at a job interview, it’s imperative to get folks to like us.
How to Get People to Like You
People need to be liked. If you can get people to like you, you are more likely to succeed in life. It’s the basis of trust, which then leads to credibility.
Most people don’t know how to be charismatic or make excellent first impressions. They weren’t taught in school–although they should’ve been!
If you want to get people to like you (and why not?) start with these 9 techniques. Click through the links for more details on how to accomplish these steps.
Try to practice for 10-15 minutes each day.
- Start with a short, relatable story.
Something universally familiar. The whole point is to get others to talk. For example, you can tell a story about that idiot driver on the road. Or how embarrassed you were when you realized you had food in your teeth during your virtual meeting.
Then people will jump at the chance to tell their own similar stories. Don’t forget to work on how to eliminate your filler words. You want your stories to be well-received.
- Look at life as a comedian does.
Small talk, when done properly, isn’t small.
Did you ever notice comedians can take an everyday occurrence and see something hilarious about it? It’s called observational comedy. Don’t take everything so seriously. Nobody wants to be with Debbie Downer when they can hang with Jerry Seinfeld.
- Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.
I’m not asking you to become a pathological liar. But when it comes to storytelling, don’t be afraid to fudge a little for the sake of entertainment.
For example, when someone asks you where you’re from they’re likely just making conversation. So you don’t have to tell them every place you’ve ever lived. design and practice a cute or funny story about one aspect of your background. Only the stuff you care to share.
- Be an empathetic, active listener.
Listen to people when they speak. Don’t think about what you’re going to say next. And don’t interrupt. Listening takes some practice. Instead of thinking about the story you want to tell, nod your head or otherwise indicate that you hear them. You can say, “I hear you.” or, “I know what you mean.” And don’t be judgy. You’ll want to improve your communication skills, in general, to be easily liked.
If it’s the other way around and you’re being interrupted you’ll want to read: How to Stop Being Interrupted Once & for All.
- Make people aware that you’re listening.
Smoothly, repeat back what they’ve said to you. Not only will this help with clarity, but it makes people feel great that you heard them. That goes a long way in getting people to like you.
- Admit your weaknesses before people find them out on their own.
You don’t want to be the braggadocio who’s constantly telling others how great they are. Nobody likes that guy or wants to be stuck next to them at the family reunion.
- Compliment others.
I have a confession to make: I’m not very organized. My husband might say that’s an understatement. So when I come across an organized human, I always compliment them for their exemplary skills. 🙂 It’s not hard to tell someone you like their bracelet or their shoes. Or congratulate them for the fine work they’ve done. It goes a long way towards getting people to want to spend time with you.
- Use body language that makes people instantly comfortable with you.
Crossing your arms and legs makes you and your conversational partners defensive without even knowing it. So don’t cross your arms and legs. Keep your palms open. Smile and smile with your whole face when you’re communicating with someone. (Provided they aren’t telling you about a death in the family or the time their house burned down.)
Good use of body language goes a long way in getting people to like you.
- Don’t be too rigid.
Unless you have severe allergies, try to be open to restaurant suggestions. Be open to others’ ideas. You may end up loving new things you never thought you’d like.
If nerves are getting in your way of accomplishing these tasks, I recommend learning my relaxation exercises. They will change your life.
Most people aren’t aware of how much tension is in their musculature and how eliminating that tension will absolutely change their lives for the better.
The tension causes you to draw a blank, talk too fast, feel nervous, lose confidence, use a crazy high pitch during anxiety-ridden situations, the list goes on. Imagine if those things didn’t happen to you, just how far you can go? If those things are standing in your way, make sure you learn how to speak clearly.
Click on the yellow Voice Spa box just below to learn more!
Getting people to like you takes consistency and practice.
You’ll want to practice and measure your results. Remember, it’ll take a couple of weeks for you to start noticing the difference. Especially if you’re trying these techniques with people who already know you.
Don’t be hard on yourself. Maybe choose storytelling and work on that first. Then measure your results incrementally.