We all know that person to whom everyone gravitates—the guy who makes everyone laugh, leads conversations, and tells suspenseful stories.
He somehow gets everyone to like him!
He’s like a people magnet. Everyone wants to be around him and be like him. He’s sought-after for jobs and projects. Did you think every charming & charismatic person was born that way?
(Or her. I’m not sexist. I had to pick a pronoun. I went with “he” because my dad is my model for getting people to like you. He was such a great communicator/leader. He made people feel great during every interaction. Or he made them laugh! He was so wildly well-liked.)
Whether we’re meeting new people or at a job interview, getting people to like us is imperative.
How to Get People to Like You
People need to be liked. If you can get people to like you, you are more likely to succeed in life. It’s the basis of trust, which then leads to credibility.
Most people don’t know how to be charismatic or make excellent first impressions. They weren’t taught in school–although they should’ve been!
Down with Trigonometry!! We want communication skills training!! Teach us small talk! (High school chant, I recommend carrying signs.)
Make People Like You!
Here is a list of the things you’ll want to do to get others to like you:
- Start with a short, relatable story–don’t ask 24 questions!
- Look at life with a comedian’s eye.
- Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story–stop being so serious!
- Be an empathetic, active listener.
- Admit your weaknesses.
- Compliment others.
- Use body language that makes others comfortable.
- Don’t be too rigid.
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We do business with people we like.
If 2 candidates have the same skills but you like one of them better, which one would you choose?
If you want to get people to like you (and why not?) start with these 9 techniques. Click through the links for more details on how to accomplish these steps.
Try to practice for 10-15 minutes each day.
How to Get People to Like You
- Start with a short, relatable story.
Something universally familiar. The whole point is to get others to talk. For example, you can tell a story about that idiot driver on the road. Or how embarrassed you were when you realized you had food in your teeth during your virtual meeting.
Then people will jump at the chance to tell their own similar stories. Don’t forget to work on how to eliminate your filler words. You want your stories to be well-received.
- Look at life as a comedian does.
Small talk, when done properly, isn’t small.
Did you ever notice comedians can take an everyday occurrence and see something hilarious about it? It’s called observational comedy. Don’t take everything so seriously. Nobody wants to be with Debbie Downer when they can hang with Jerry Seinfeld.
- Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.
I’m not asking you to become a pathological liar. But when it comes to storytelling, don’t be afraid to fudge a little for the sake of entertainment.
For example, when someone asks you where you’re from they’re likely just making conversation. So you don’t have to tell them every place you’ve ever lived. design and practice a cute or funny story about one aspect of your background. Only the stuff you care to share.
- Be an empathetic, active listener.
Listen to people when they speak. Don’t think about what you’re going to say next. And don’t interrupt. Listening takes some practice. Instead of thinking about the story you want to tell, nod your head or otherwise indicate that you hear them. You can say, “I hear you.” or, “I know what you mean.” And don’t be judgy. You’ll want to improve your communication skills, in general, to be easily liked.
If it’s the other way around and you’re being interrupted you’ll want to read: How to Stop Being Interrupted Once & for All. - Make people aware that you’re listening.
Smoothly, repeat back what they’ve said to you. Not only will this help with clarity, but it makes people feel great that you heard them. That goes a long way in getting people to like you.
- Admit your weaknesses before people find them out on their own.
You don’t want to be the braggadocio who’s constantly telling others how great they are. Nobody likes that guy or wants to be stuck next to them at the family reunion.
- Compliment others.
I have a confession to make: I’m not very organized. My husband might say that’s an understatement. So when I come across an organized human, I always compliment them for their exemplary skills. 🙂 It’s not hard to tell someone you like their bracelet or their shoes. Or congratulate them for the fine work they’ve done. It goes a long way towards getting people to want to spend time with you.
- Use body language that makes people instantly comfortable with you.
Crossing your arms and legs makes you and your conversational partners defensive without even knowing it. So don’t cross your arms and legs. Keep your palms open. Smile and smile with your whole face when you’re communicating with someone. (Provided they aren’t telling you about a death in the family or the time their house burned down.)
Good use of body language goes a long way in getting people to like you.
- Don’t be too rigid.
Unless you have severe allergies, try to be open to restaurant suggestions. Be open to others’ ideas. You may end up loving new things you never thought you’d like.
9 Secret Steps to Influencing Others
Want to be more influential? We all want to communicate our most important messages in a way that encourages others to take action. Whether that action is voting for our candidate or picking up milk from the store, the words we use and how we speak play a huge role in getting the job done.
You want & need people to like you.
If nerves are getting in your way of accomplishing these tasks, I recommend learning my relaxation exercises. They will change your life.
Most people aren’t aware of how much tension is in their musculature and how eliminating that tension will absolutely change their lives for the better.
The tension causes you to draw a blank, talk too fast, feel nervous, lose confidence, use a crazy high pitch during anxiety-ridden situations, the list goes on. Imagine if those things didn’t happen to you, just how far you can go? If those things are standing in your way, make sure you learn how to speak clearly.
Click on the yellow Voice Spa box just below to learn more!
Getting people to like you takes consistency and practice.
You’ll want to practice and measure your results. Remember, you’ll take a couple of weeks to start noticing the difference, especially if you’re trying these techniques with people who already know you.
Don’t be hard on yourself. Maybe choose storytelling and work on that first. Then, measure your results incrementally.
How to Improve Your Communication Skills at Work
You’ll start to notice that you become more and more influential. People will start doing what you want them to do. They’ll find you credible and smart. We need this to have successful careers and lives.
Whether we’re meeting new people or at a job interview, it’s essential to be likable, and it’s a skill that can be learned. A great communicator and leader like my dad made people feel great during every interaction, and he had a way of making them laugh. Being well-liked can positively impact our personal and professional lives, making it a critical skill to develop.
How do you get people to like you?
Do you have any techniques to get people to like you? How do you get people to like being friends with you?
How important is it to get people to like you in business?
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I really like the “don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.” I always try to answer the questions so seriously. I work so hard at answering questions.
And I never want to point out my weaknesses. I always want people to think highly of me!
What you say is normal. Just take some time practicing your answers on the recorder. If you need help, let us know.
My boyfriend always says I compliment people too much. I always tell the truth and I think people appreciate it.
I believe you’re right, Karen.
Everyone wants to be liked, no-one likes being ignored. This is the good piece of information with helpful steps which can help an individual to build a good connection. Keep it up 👍
Very useful tips. You made it look so simple. I want to be liked by others and this article made it seem possible with some practice. You must add ‘be original’ in the list too. Becoming someone totally opposite of you is not always a good idea. Thank you for being there.
Great tips especially number 5, I really need to do that more ( i’m a master at tuning folks out) especially if I am uncomfortable.
I feel that number 8 is referring to me. I always tend to cross my arms when talking to someone. And I notice the air is always serious. I would practice smiling and good body language.
Thanks