The first thing you need to do is have a completely relaxed vocal mechanism. Your throat needs to be wide-open. An open and wide throat leads to a voice that sounds ultra-confident and persuasive. A voice that’s created with a tense throat not only makes us sound insecure and lacking in authority but stops the necessary oxygen from getting to our brains.
Do you know how, when you’re speaking in an anxiety-ridden situation, you forget about half of the genius stuff you had to say? Or you just ramble on not honing in on your point? You’re not getting enough oxygen to think clearly.
We teach our clients to use a series of relaxation exercises that involve breathing, rolling the head and shoulders, and tensing and releasing the appropriate muscles to create a relaxed state.
You can find our relaxation exercises in The Voice Spa video course, or you can take a class with one of our Convey coaches. The premise is to create tension and then release, paying attention to the feeling of relaxation you have after you let go of the tension.
Here’s my line for all of my clients for the past 25 years that I’ve been training them:
“You must be so relaxed you could almost fall asleep.”
Sounds crazy, right? Of course it does! We’ve been trained to be tense and stressed out during every speaking situation of our lives. Why wouldn’t that be the norm?
In grade school, the teacher calls on you. You stiffen up, straighten up, and a minor flight or flight reaction takes over your body. You reply with the smallest amount of words, your voice is tiny, and you might’ve said “um” 3 times.
Your present day experiences are no different. You’re in a meeting. You’re sitting on the edge of your seat, and it’s your turn to talk. Maybe you use too many words, or start stammering or forget your point. Maybe you used filler words like mad.
None of that comes from being completely relaxed, but that’s the exact time to try being so relaxed you could fall asleep.
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