Do you cringe when you hear your voice on a recording? Do you avoid listening to it at all costs? What does your voice sound like? Is it squeaky and thin? Have you ever said, “I hate my voice”?
Here’s the good news:
Everybody hates their voice.
The sound of your voice impacts every relationship and conversation you’ll ever have. And it’s not a permanent characteristic!
The vast majority of folks are running around with so much tension in their throats that it’s negatively impacting our relationships and careers. This is why people are using so much vocal fry and upspeak.
Here’s some more good news:
You can change your (hated) voice for the better.
Many of my clients, who start out with voices they hate, end up doing the voice-overs for their firms. They become singled out as the employee with the best voice and do the voiceovers for their websites & videos.
What else happens when my clients improve their voice?
They become sought-after. Before they looked for new positions & new jobs, now people come to them.
Here you are, using a voice that’s in your throat and not the most attractive. All because of stress, tension, and being taught wrong.
But that all changes right now, you with me?
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I Hate My Voice
I did a twitter search for the hashtag #IHateMyVoice not even knowing it was a thing. There were a million people saying, “I hate my voice!” I’ve peppered a few in this post.
Did you know that it’s easy to change your voice? Not only can you have a gorgeous voice but it takes very little time and no effort. Actually, if you have a voice you hate you’re probably using too much effort.
When you listen to your voice on snap ???? #IHateMyVoice ?
— Kayla. (@_KaylaaRenee13) August 7, 2016
There are many more examples of people hating their voices as you go through this article 😀
The sound of your voice depends on what’s going on in your throat.
The vast majority of people speak “in their throat” and they use way too much tension in their vocal mechanism. This makes your voice much less attractive than your natural voice.
As Speech Pathologists, we call it the “Optimum Pitch.” Most people are not speaking with their optimum pitch, resulting in a voice that’s not as magnetic & compelling as it can be.
So you’ll need to stop talking in your throat!
9 Secret Steps to Influencing Others
Want to be more influential? We all want to communicate our most important messages in a way that encourages others to take action. Whether that action is voting for our candidate or picking up milk from the store, the words we use and how we speak play a huge role in getting the job done.
The Voice in Your Head vs The Voice Other's Hear
The voice that your recorder picks up is the same voice that other people hear in real life.
Don’t be upset! We can change this easily! You are not speaking with your optimum pitch, or what I call “Your True Voice” and we can easily get you to do that. Takes a bit of practice but it’s well worth it.
You’ll have people eating out of your hand. Magnetized and compelled by you. I exaggerate not.
You know people who have compelling voices–you’d follow them anywhere! (Well, hopefully not anywhere but that’s a different article!)
Stop hating your voice by making essential changes.
Read on to learn the easy techniques necessary to speak with a voice that’s compelling & engaging.
Plus some more funny twitter posts where people are hating their voices 🙂
Speak with Air
To speak with a clear, powerful, and persuasive voice you must use Air For Speech.
Speech is air molecules that vibrate. Sound is air molecules that vibrate. Ok, not just air molecules. Speech can travel through bone–that’s why your voice sounds so different in your head than on the recorder. The molecules are so much closer together making your voice sound deeper & more resonant.
When you follow the instructions posted here you’ll make your recorded voice sound like the one that you hear in your head. 🙂
Use abdominal breathing!
The more air you use the more powerful your voice will be. But here’s the deal: You must breathe using your abdomen.
You’ll want to try the following exercises both sitting down and then standing. If you’re having difficulty isolating your stomach muscles, try lying down on your back. You’ll notice that lying on your back lends itself easily to abdominal breathing. Just do it that way until you’re aware of how that abdominal breathing “feels.”
I want you to follow these steps. It’s easy. Try it for a couple of weeks & this will lead you to use a powerful, gorgeous voice in all environments of your life.
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Deep breathing techniques
Once you’ve practiced using abdominal breathing for a few days go ahead and try using abdominal breathing for speech. I always start my clients with “Hi.”
- Stick your stomach out about an eighth of an inch.
- Fill it up with a breath in.
- Letting your voice take a ride on the exhaled air say, “hi.”
- Now try it with other things you say. My clients and I do food & beverage orders & then move on to presentations & the like. 🙂
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This brief introduction will get you started on the road to speaking Standard American English.
Abdominal Breathing for Life
1. First attempt to isolate the muscles of the abdomen. Just push your stomach muscles out and then in, as if you have just eaten a big meal or are a belly dancer. Go ahead men, too! Be sure that your upper body is not moving. You may sit in front of a mirror or you may put your hand on your chest so that you can monitor and prevent movement. Please move the muscles of the abdomen for a few minutes. Become very comfortable with isolating only those muscles.
One of my favorite I hate my voice tweets:
I just heard myself on a voicemail and I’m sorry to anyone who has received one from me. #ihatemyvoice
— Cassandra Taylor (@cassandita) August 9, 2016
2. Now try and pair this movement with breathing. Only your stomach muscles go out when you breathe in and they go in when you breathe out. Imagine that your stomach is a balloon or a barrel (pleasant thought!) and that you are filling it up with air. You only want to see your abdomen move; not your shoulders or your rib cage.
3. Use abdominal breathing for increasing increments of time each day.
Here’s another I hate my voice tweet:
Get What You Want With More Persuasive Speaking
#me #ihatemyvoice I’m tired. Buying more eyebags to stock up for the winter. ?? pic.twitter.com/7bZYTDn5DC
— Yuno Buttlass (@dontwakeyuno) July 14, 2016
9 Secret Steps to Influencing Others
Want to be more influential? We all want to communicate our most important messages in a way that encourages others to take action. Whether that action is voting for our candidate or picking up milk from the store, the words we use and how we speak play a huge role in getting the job done.
Make your gorgeous new voice (that you love) a habit in your life.
Practice these skills in easy speaking situations of your life first. When you master those situations, then move on to medium-stakes situations.
Easy situations are ordering food and beverages or chatting with someone you feel comfy with. A medium-stakes scenario might be an easy meeting you run or talking to a stranger. Everyone’s different, so get to know yourself!
Then, of course, you’ll want to practice and master your new skills in the high-stakes situations of your life. Maybe meeting new folks, job interviews, presentations, etc.
And watch them melt before your eyes as they love listening to your voice.
Prepping to record the first podcast interview of my life tomorrow. #ihatemyvoice pic.twitter.com/FH52Rxbx8X
— Christopher Jones (@ccjones13) August 15, 2016
There was no end to the number of tweets I found when I looked up the hashtag i hate my voice. I just put a few funny ones in this article.
It takes very little time to use a healthy & gorgeous voice. Follow the above directions or just call me. I’m here to make you #SoundAmazing.
You’ll never have to say, “I hate my voice!” again. You’ll end up hearing, “I love the sound of your voice!” and “Will you please do the voice-over for the company video?” And you’ll say, “Not for free, buddy!” 🙂
Another I hate my voice tweet:
The sound of my own voice coming out the speakers actually made me run out of the room. #Narration #IHateMyVoice
— Aria Carter (@AriaCarter19) April 1, 2016
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Tell me what you think by commenting below!
Watch this video of Ita Olsen: Why am I Not Automatically an Incredible Speaker
Great tips! I happen to be reading up on voice these days. Do you have any thoughts on the Estill Voice program? It seems that everything I read references it at least once!
Hi Gwendolyn! Thanks so much for your feedback-I love it!
I must admit I hadn’t heard of that program until you mentioned it. I’ve been studying voice since undergrad. My own voice program consists of bits from others’ amazing work and some of my own creation to fill in the gaps! Works wonders. You should try it! 🙂
I don’t dislike my voice, but my brother has a problem with his. This article might be useful. Thanks
Happy to help!
Well, my problem is that my thoughts are always traveling much faster than my mouth. My brain is going a million miles a minute and my mouth just can’t keep up. Then I stumble on words and sometimes regret speaking at all. I have noticed that I hold my breath when I speak and it effects me negatively. I am excited to begin breathing techniques to control the sound of my voice.